"Where's my water bottle?"

"I washed it."

"Why did you wash it?"

"Listen, babe, if it's on the counter. I'm washing it."

"I MEASURE how much water I drink." (An orchestra of ceramic, metal and glass jockey for new positions in the drain board.) "Now I have to start all over. Just don't touch my water bottle."

This is one of many true stories from working remotely with my husband and business partner Roderick Kelly. It happened this week. Of course, I'm sure tripping over my running shoes in the hallway is complete and utter delight for him. 

All in a day's work. Literally.

Listen, it isn't all bad. Actually, it's GREAT. Now that more couples are working from home, we wanted to share some light-hearted advice on surviving the new 9-to-5 regime.

1. Own your traffic patterns. Our house is from 1923. Narrow hallways connect the main rooms on the first floor. Pick your path to the kitchen and own it. There's nothing worse then intersecting with someone while mid-conversation on a conference call.

2. Do shout from room to room. This is a prime perk of sharing the workday with your love interest. If I have a question for Roderick and I'm on the third floor (finished attic, otherwise known as my office), I just shout it out (not to be confused with the spot remover). You get an immediate answer or, even better, they might trudge up the stairs to meet in-person if a question proved baffling and open-ended.

3. Assign one person to wine duty. You know how marriage works. One of you typically beats a dead horse and one of you just doesn't ever care. I can take any assignment or conversation and overanalyze and overwork it for hours. Roderick is not of this ilk. He reminds me that I need to "shut things down." 

4. Do not respect each other's space. Roderick's papers and laptop carpet our living room. Fine during working hours, but after that, be brave enough to scoop it all up and throw it in a corner. You're not your partner's mother. Skip the lecture and just move the stuff. If you're having guests, go directly to the closet and throw it in there.

5. Call dibs on the leash -- in nice weather only. In cold, rainy, snowy weather, calculate the farthest distance to your dog's leash and remain in those coordinates. In great weather, hide the leash in your Coach bag. Act like a hero when you take your dog for a walk and enjoy nature. Breaks like these are cathartic, but only when the weather cooperates. (Walking together is nice only when he hasn't previously washed your water bottle. See opening scene.)

There's probably more, but I've got no meetings to attend and a run in the sun planned so I've got to go. Good luck working remotely with your spouse. And, remember, they are the only person in the world you can say "I love you" to during working hours and not be sent to HR. Throw it in the convo once in a while. Then grab the last coconut yogurt in the fridge and go for a run.

My husband and business partner Roderick Kelly is writing a blog from his perspective. We are not reviewing each other’s blog until after they are posted.