It’s a few weeks of quarantine where you and your wife will be working from home. Together. Side by side perhaps. Annoying the hell out of each other. Or avoiding each other. Regardless, think of this as a time from which you will tell stories for years to come.

My wife and business partner Michele Kelly is writing a blog from her perspective. We are not reviewing each other’s blog until after they are posted. Wish me luck.

I’ve got five tips that will help my male counterparts get through this unchartered territory. You can put all sharp objects away by following these simple tips.

1)    Pick up the damn phone. When I get a call from “Sunshine” who is on a different floor or a few rooms away, I’ve learned not to ignore it, regardless of my task at hand. Otherwise, I hear: “Pick up the phone, I have a question.” No need to get into a gambaria (sic) over this, just pick up the phone on the first ring and you get the bonus of simultaneously listening to the same conversation with a two second delay.

2)    What are you doing here? This question arises when my wife wants to work in the same space I’ve claimed as my “office.” If this happens you will need to adjust your focus, perhaps use earbuds, to drown out her work conversations. Also avoid eye contact as you may see mannerisms and movements you never knew about your spouse.

3)    Why aren’t you working? This question connotes that I’m sloughing off, when in fact I may be using the time to think through a problem. Of course, if she’s right, I give myself permission to just walk out of the room.

4)    Fill in the blank. “Please keep the __________ quiet. I’m going to be on an important call in 1 minute.” _____________ = dog, kids, doorbell, background noises, etc. This is where you react as if the house is on fire -- grab the kids and dog, cajole, carry and push them into the car and drive around town until the coast is clear. Don’t forget your shoes or wallet. It might cost you ice cream cones. (Pajama pants are acceptable these days).

5)    Red or white? This is the end of the day question to bring normalcy back into your life. Afterall, isn’t this how you imagined it would be working from home? It’s either red or white. Easy peasy.

Now, get back to work, unless you are engaged in Tip 3 or 5.

I love you Babe! Red or white?