Q: Tell me a little story from your life, a story that shaped you.
I was June 4, 2003. I found myself in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous and I met a woman who eventually became my sponsor and she would walk me through the 12 steps of recovery and we came to the fourth step which says to “make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”
I thought, no problem. I haven’t really done anything wrong. Life screwed me all along the way.
So she said, “Marianne, I want you to make a list of every person who ever wronged you and the circumstances around it.”
I thought (chuckling to myself), briiiiiiiing it on. I couldn’t WAIT to do that.
So I made that list and I went back and showed her and she didn’t seem nearly as impressed as I thought she should be and she said, “Now, for the second part . . .”
I thought, what more could there possibly be.
And she said, “Next to every one of those names, I want you to write your role in the situation.”
I thought, you’ve got to be kidding me. I don’t think you heard me. Life had screwed me, not the other way around.
But, ultimately, I realized that what she was teaching me was that in every situation, I always have a choice. That if I’m in the situation, I play a role and the beauty of it is if I play a role, I get to choose what role I play. And I do that by choosing the thoughts about the situation and how I want to act and respond in that situation so ultimately what I learned is that in every situation I always have a choice, even if I don’t.
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The Storyteller
Marianne Renner is a leadership coach, trainer and motivational speaker. Her newest book, Self-Talk, has helped thousands of leaders remove self-imposed barriers so they can become the great leaders they were meant to become. Marianne's personal story and professional anecdotes will touch your heart and inspire you to think differently about how you work, live and lead.
Thank you, Marianne Renner, for sharing your one bold story.